Craig Schaffer
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From the Omnipaedia:
"Known simply as Craig to 4Mites, or alternately as "that guy who never comes here anymore cause he is a loser." arid 'craigs' on the IRC. Craig was brought down to the Forum by Tobie to meet her at the time boyfriend Turtle. He was immediately sucked in to the 4M. Turtle, Tobie, Craig, Adam, and Skip went through alternating stages of loving and hating each other over a period of time.
On his mythological pre-4M existance:
I was born in Cincinnatti, Ohio on October 16th, 1974. Everything from that point until mid 1981 is all kind of a blur due to my unusual battle with alcoholism. But to be honest, after being released from the Betty Ford Clinic, I don't remember much because on my way home I was struck by a Greyhound bus. When I came out of the Coma in 1988, I fell in love for the first time... if you want to know anything more, ask me, or Turtle as the content has been censored by the FCC.
On College
I hate college.
On the 4M
This too would be a story I would not publish, as it is WAYtoo revealing about too many people I care about so this will not become a matter of written record ...if you are a glutton for juicy details (I know I am), then ask me or Turtle... The Craig legacy is quite an interesting ride....
Craig is blonde, has blue eyes, weighs [censored], and stands 6'1". He has three earing in his left ear. Favorites include the movies Toy Soldiers and The Lion King, he's only read one book since 8th grade (ask Turtle), music by Billy Joel, The Doobie Brothers, and Bonnie Tyler, and the television shows Roseanne, law I: Order, and all the various incarnations of Trek. "