Irina K.

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Irina K.
would have a nickname if forumites weren't too busy being distracted by her famous cleavage
Irina.jpg
Forumite Status
depends on her mood
Became member
2005
Brought by
Lynne
Reign at Forum
Iron Fist
Forum Offices Held
Famous for
Temper and Tits
Born & Died
Hometown
Kiev, Ukraine
Base of Operations
West Sayville
Species
infernus majesticus
Gender
Sexual Identity
Relationship Status
proud owner of a Garrett
Related to
Profession
law student



Irina was born on a late march evening in a railroad hospital while her father paced outside impatiently. In the Soviet Union, the politically correct outcry that "fathers are people too" didn't carry much weight with the fascist regime. After she was born, she quickly assumed dominance by defying the whole family in its quest to tightly swaddle her. Then came some indistinct childhood years where she was battered by Chernobyl radiation and learned to read, in no particular order.

Some years later, the family decided it would be fun to go on a little international jaunt to America! Economics forced her to have to consume too much strawberry yogurt and bagels with cream cheese, all of which she loathes to this day. Various mysterious universal forces, all of which shall remain nameless, forced her to attend Stuyvesant HS, which broke any remnants of her will to like people. Then more mysterious forces, some of which she lovingly calls economics, made sure she had to attend Stony Brook. There, she cut classes, hated people [DOWN WITH HONORS COLLEGE!] and took her sweet time picking her major. In her last semester there, she innocently [HAH!] took a writing class where she met one of that insidious breed - a FORUMITE! That forumite, Lynne, deviously brought Irina down to the forum. This was bad for it made her cut more class. This was also good for it led to much entertainment, such as duct-taping Garrett to a chair because he displeased her. In restrospect this may have been a questionable idea. Sometime during ICON 24, the previously duct-taped boy made a geeky yet cute pass at our heroine which she graciously suffered through and this led to much making out on the couches to the amusement of the forumites, some of whom delighted greatly in crowing "I told you so!"

Graduation brought forth a job of whole-scale misery with the added bonus of a male boss who discovered the joys of perpetual PMS. It also forced Irina to move back in with the Parental Units, which resulted in many protracted stays at Robot House. The downside of those visits was contained in the screaming need for civilizing the Robot House citizenship, baking them cookies and generally trying to make sure the house did not fall through a giant crevice straight into hell. [Irina is actually the Devil and really did not want that house littering her property.] Further misfortune was visited upon her by Jeremy Lauber who bestowed upon her the nickname Wendy Lady. He will suffer for his sins eventually. Sometime in this time period, CS Dave bestowed Irina with the ever important job of being Garrett's co-track leader, which came with the singular function of making him organized. This was then forgotten till the appropriate pre-ICON crunch time.

A year of living with the Parental Units, hormonal boss tantrums and lack of kittens then led Irina to enter law school and move in with Garrett and Roosevelt, the stupid but lovable kitten. Law school turned out to be a whole new form of torture however she has decided to keep Garrett for he vacuums and cleans the litter-box.

Irina is funny, smart, sarcastic, and has the boobs that hold up the time-space continuum. Her hair is dark, her eyes are blue and her temper is legendary and terrifying. She likes fishnet, boots and reading outside in the springtime. Also, according to her Evil Sister Emily Santino, she has a birthmark on her left tit that looks like a chocolate smear.